What is SPAM??

What is Spam?

Over the years, people have often asked me to explain the various concepts of Marketing Communications. The following analogies might help clarify the "tools of the trade."

You see a handsome guy/girl at a party. You go up to him/her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy/girl. One of your friends goes up to him/her and pointing at you says, "She's/He's fantastic in bed." -- That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy/girl at a party. You go up to him/girl and get his/her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy/girl. You get up and straighten your clothes. You walk up to him/her and pour him/her a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten their clothes brushing lightly against their arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy/girl. He/she walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." -- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy/girl. You talk him/her into going home with your friend. -- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him/her so he/she calls you. -- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men/women in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" -- That's Spam.

Another host to avoid

Just received an email as follows;

Envelope-to: xxx@xxx.co.uk
Delivery-date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006 19:54:54 +0000
Received: by ptb-mxcore01.plus.net with spam-scanned (PlusNet MXCore v2.00) id 1F80pZ-0007Mn-8J
for zzz@zzz.co.uk; Sat, 11 Feb 2006 19:54:54 +0000
Received: from localhost ([127.0.0.1])
by ptb-mxcore01.plus.net with esmtp (PlusNet MXCore v2.00) id 1F80pZ-0007Mc-4F
for zzz@zzz.co.uk; Sat, 11 Feb 2006 19:54:53 +0000
Received: from smtp.mailix.net ([216.148.213.132])by ptb-mxcore01.plus.net with esmtp (PlusNet MXCore v2.00) id 1F80pY-0007M4-33 for zzz@zzz.co.uk; Sat, 11 Feb 2006 19:54:52 +0000
Received: from [192.168.8.8] (helo=localhost)by smtp.mailix.net with asmtp (Exim 4.24-MG)id 1F7zan-0004Di-Iv; Sat, 11 Feb 2006 10:35:33 -0800
Received: from 81.199.189.96.rmts.satcom-systems.net (81.199.189.96.rmts.satcom-systems.net [81.199.189.96]) by webmail.namezero.com (IMP) with HTTP for ; Sat, 11 Feb 2006 10:35:24 -0800
Message-ID: <1139682924.43ee2e6ca3974@webmail.namezero.com>
Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006 10:35:24 -0800
From: soo cho
Reply-to: soocho01@hellokitty.com
User-Agent: Internet Messaging Program (IMP) 3.2.3
X-Originating-IP: 81.199.189.96
Bcc:
X-SA-Exim-Mail-From: soocho012@walla.com
Subject: [-SPAM-] Letter of intent
X-SA-Exim-Version: 3.1 (built Thu Oct 23 13:26:47 PDT 2003)
X-SA-Exim-Scanned: No; Unknown failure
X-uvscan-result: clean (1F7zan-0004Di-Iv)
X-PN-VirusFiltered: by PlusNet MXCore (v2.00)
X-PN-SpamFiltered: by PlusNet MXCore (v2.00)
X-Antivirus: AVG for E-mail 7.1.375 [267.15.6/257]
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1



Mr.Soo Cho
CHO HUNG BANK.
14 1-ka Namdaemun-ro Chung-ku
Seoul, Seoul 100-757
South Korea.
www.chohungbank.co.kr


I am Mr.Soo Cho, credit officer of CHO HUNG BANK. I have an urgent and very
confidential business proposition for you.
On July 8, 2000, a British Oil consultant/contractor with the South Korea Solid
Minerals Corporation, Mr. Phillip Morris made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit
for twelve calendar months, valued at (Twenty-eight Million American Dollars
only) in my branch.
Upon maturity,I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got
no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his
contract employers, that Mr. Phillip Morris died from an auto-mobile accident.
On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a WILL,and
all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.
I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr.Phillip Morris did
not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents,including his
Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank.This sum of US$28,000,000.00 is still sitting
in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the
end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it.
According to Laws of South Korea, at the expiration of (five) years,the money
will revert to the ownership of the South Korea Government if nobody applies to
claim the fund. Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as aforeigner
to stand in as the next of kin to Mr.Phillip Morris so that the fruits of this
old man's labor will not get into the hands of some corrupt government
officials.
This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and
address so that the attorney will prepare the necessary documents and
affidavits that will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the
services of an attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain
the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for
the transfer.
A bank account in any part of the world that you will provide the will, then
facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin.
The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 70%for
me and 25% for you and 5% for Expenses
Incurred in the course of the transaction.There is no risk at all as all the
paperwork for this transaction will be done by the attorney and with my
position as the credit officer guarantees the successful execution of this
transaction. If you are interested, please
reply immediately to my email box.
Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details that will help
you understand the transaction.
Please send me your confidential telephone and fax numbers for easy
communication. You should observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that
this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall
require your assistance to invest my
share in your country.


Regards,
Soo Cho,



This looks like another hosting company to avoid - unless you want your emails blacklisted!!!.

Any spam-baiters fancy a go - you're more than welcome!!!!

I'm unable to print.

One of the most common calls I receive relates to printing. The following tips could well save you an expensive (if not embarrassing support call).

If nothing has changed on your printer or in your printer settings on your computer then chances are that the problem is quite straightforward.

First check to see of the printer is on, especially if the trouble occurs first thing in the morning. Perhaps you or someone else turn the printer off when you finished your work the last time you sat down at you desk.

Check the printer status lights or status LCD screen. If there's a flashing light or if the status screen shows an error, then it's your first clue to a problem. Most printer manuals have a diagnosis process for alerts.
Check to see if the paper tray is empty. If so refill it. Make sure to feather the pages to eliminate static. Hold the pages in one had and flip through the pages at a fast rate with your thumb.

If the paper tray is not empty check for a misfeed. A sheet may have been caught in the mechanism. There may be a variety of printer access doors to check. Pull out any remnants. Even the smallest piece of paper could be causing the problem so check carefully. Tweezers are handy for this procedure.

If the problem is toner-related, check to see if the toner cartridge is empty or low. The printer warning should indicate this. Swap it for a new one and the unit should work.

Some laser toner cartridges have an ejected toner reservoir. There is usually a trap that can be emptied.

The toner drum on laser printers also needs to be replaced usually once a year depending on the volume of printing the device handles. The printer's error lights should indicate this if it is a problem. Print-outs will become fuzzy or faded when this starts to go.

If all the physical hardware on the printer seems to be fine check to see that it is connected to your computer. Personal printers connect via either a parallel or USB (universal serial bus) connector to the back of the printer. Follow the cable from the back of the printer to the back of the computer to make sure the connection is good.

If the printer is connect by what looks like an oversized telephone cable or coaxial cable (like the cable for cable television) then your printer is connected through a network. If this is the case the problem gets suddenly complicated. If your network based printer is acting up for everyone in the office then you'll need to call in your resident network expert. You probably have a print server, hub or cable problem. If it's just you that's having a problem with your network printer, make sure that your computer is connected to the network.

If the printer works but spews strange characters or it appears as if the PC and printer creates error, it likely that you have a printer driver problem. When a printer acts up and there is no hardware problem, the solution is often driver-related. A driver is a piece of software that allows a computer to "talk" to a printer. It's a kind of translator.

Occasionally if a printer has worked previously, but won't work with a newly installed program, there could be driver problems.

To remedy this, download a driver from the printer maker's Web site, remove the old driver and install the new driver. Drivers are normally available under the "support" area of a Web site.

If you have an inkjet printer and you get smudged or blurry images, you might want to look up the utility on the printer that cleans and or aligns the printer heads. Most inkjet printers either have software that can start this process or have a setting on the printer itself that can kick start it.

If all of these solutions fail, you might want to search the manufacturer's support area for printer issues. Often there will be bulletins issued on how to fix newly discovered bugs.

If you have a scanner and printer and experience printing problems take heart, this is easily solvable. Detach both devices and remove the software and drivers for both devices. Then reinstall the printer first and then add the scanner second.

Help - The printer's not working

One of the most common calls I receive relates to printing. The following tips could well save you an expensive (if not embarrassing support call).

If nothing has changed on your printer or in your printer settings on your computer then chances are that the problem is quite straightforward.

First check to see of the printer is on, especially if the trouble occurs first thing in the morning. Perhaps you or someone else turn the printer off when you finished your work the last time you sat down at you desk.

Check the printer status lights or status LCD screen. If there's a flashing light or if the status screen shows an error, then it's your first clue to a problem. Most printer manuals have a diagnosis process for alerts.
Check to see if the paper tray is empty. If so refill it. Make sure to feather the pages to eliminate static. Hold the pages in one had and flip through the pages at a fast rate with your thumb.

If the paper tray is not empty check for a misfeed. A sheet may have been caught in the mechanism. There may be a variety of printer access doors to check. Pull out any remnants. Even the smallest piece of paper could be causing the problem so check carefully. Tweezers are handy for this procedure.

If the problem is toner-related, check to see if the toner cartridge is empty or low. The printer warning should indicate this. Swap it for a new one and the unit should work.

Some laser toner cartridges have an ejected toner reservoir. There is usually a trap that can be emptied.

The toner drum on laser printers also needs to be replaced usually once a year depending on the volume of printing the device handles. The printer's error lights should indicate this if it is a problem. Print-outs will become fuzzy or faded when this starts to go.

If all the physical hardware on the printer seems to be fine check to see that it is connected to your computer. Personal printers connect via either a parallel or USB (universal serial bus) connector to the back of the printer. Follow the cable from the back of the printer to the back of the computer to make sure the connection is good.

If the printer is connect by what looks like an oversized telephone cable or coaxial cable (like the cable for cable television) then your printer is connected through a network. If this is the case the problem gets suddenly complicated. If your network based printer is acting up for everyone in the office then you'll need to call in your resident network expert. You probably have a print server, hub or cable problem. If it's just you that's having a problem with your network printer, make sure that your computer is connected to the network.

If the printer works but spews strange characters or it appears as if the PC and printer creates error, it likely that you have a printer driver problem. When a printer acts up and there is no hardware problem, the solution is often driver-related. A driver is a piece of software that allows a computer to "talk" to a printer. It's a kind of translator.

Occasionally if a printer has worked previously, but won't work with a newly installed program, there could be driver problems.

To remedy this, download a driver from the printer maker's Web site, remove the old driver and install the new driver. Drivers are normally available under the "support" area of a Web site.

If you have an inkjet printer and you get smudged or blurry images, you might want to look up the utility on the printer that cleans and or aligns the printer heads. Most inkjet printers either have software that can start this process or have a setting on the printer itself that can kick start it.

If all of these solutions fail, you might want to search the manufacturer's support area for printer issues. Often there will be bulletins issued on how to fix newly discovered bugs.

If you have a scanner and printer and experience printing problems take heart, this is easily solvable. Detach both devices and remove the software and drivers for both devices. Then reinstall the printer first and then add the scanner second.

Computer Support

I was scanning my local free advertising supplement (Friday Ad) checking out the competition, when I noticed something disturbing.

Out of seven advertisers providing computer support, only one provided his name within the advert. Upon telephoning the other six, none of them answered with their name and had to be prompted to get this fairly important detail (I don't know about you, but I like to know who I'm dealing with).

This begs the question, do the six who withheld their name from the advert have something to hide, or are they too cheap to pay for another two words????

I personally have learnt from experience that in marketing, the brand precedes the service and most of my clients come from recommendations due to being open and not afraid to admit 'I dont know'.